Football Purgatory

Bad start boys. Bad Start. This was a favorite phrase of Everett, George Clooney’s character in “Oh Brother Where Art Thou?” The phrase seems fitting for the four teams for which I root on crisp days of Fall. The four hats above represent my four teams who have given me great moments in life in the past but this year…not so much.

Texas Tech & Vanderbilt in college football, the Tennessee Titans and New York Giants in pro football. At one point this season I had four wins among the four teams and it was week 3. The Giants are rallying a bit to 3-2 but the rest are backing up.

Nobody is putting themselves in the rear view mirror faster than the Titans. The Titans managed to blow a 25 point lead to the Cleveland Browns Sunday and lost 29-28. Of course, this wasn’t out of the ordinary for a franchise that holds the record for the largest playoff collapse ever. The Titans as Oilers blew a 35-3 lead to the Bills back in the day before moving to Tennessee in shame.

The loss Sunday buries the Titans in the AFC South at 1-4 although just one loss came to a division rival so there might be a glimmer of hope. Not much though as they’re not going to win a division with Andrew Luck and the Colts in residence.

Denver used to have a quarterback with innovation as a trademark named Jake “The Snake” Plummer. I wonder if he’s still available. Tennessee has Jake “The Snake Bit” Locker and I’m afraid we’re not going to win with him because we can’t win without him. And he’s gone a lot.

Today he came out blazing, leading the Titans to the fast start that has evaded them all year until he had to leave with another collision with his throwing hand/wrist and an opposing helmet. When he departs, we are forced to play the likes of Ryan Fitzpatrick and Charlie Whitehurst. Charlie Whitehurst hadn’t thrown a pass since 2010. Ken Whisenhunt lured him to Tennessee, probably with the promise of some guaranteed playing time when Jake the Snake Bit inevitably got hurt. Whitehurst may have a sore arm before the season’s done.

Whitehurst has played pretty well in relief, but there are moments in both his appearances where the outside receiving corps goes into Witness Protection. Seems nobody knows how to attack a zone defense. Go to a soft spot and sit guys.

Zach Mettenburger, our fallen sixth rounder with second round talent, is likely to get meaningful snaps this year as well. If he can’t step up, I’m afraid we’re going to have to burn another first round pick on a quarterback. Shades of the Vikings & Jaguars!

Switching to my Vanderbilt hat isn’t any solace either. After three magic seasons it seems the Devil’s bill has come due. The best Vandy offense is a good kickoff or interception return. We have our best quarterback out with what seems to be a pretty severe concussion. Saturday we had a quarterback look at his wrist upside down and call a “60” rather than a “90” play that resulted in a pick six for Georgia. I know how the kid feels, having pulled my six iron and hit a beautiful arching shot over the back of a green that was only a nine-iron away.

Still, for Vandy fans it feels like the clock has struck midnight and the Cinderella Commodores are left scrubbing the toilets of the SEC again.

Another headgear switcheroo brings the beloved Double T, my alma mater, whose usual formula isn’t working this year. The Air Raid Red Raiders still throw the ball just like when Coach Kliff Kingsbury was slinging it himself. They still play defense about like a matador waving a charging bull through, but that’s nothing new. The fact their defensive coordinator had to resign because he had to be under the influence of something special to defend the Big 12 spread offenses week in and week out was a new wrinkle. But what’s concerning is Texas Tech isn’t outscoring anyone. They seem to hang for awhile and then they have some misfires. Davis Webb, the quarterback who won the starting job so convincingly all other quarterbacks on campus decided to transfer, has been erratic at times. Kingsbury probably wishes he could borrow Baker Mayfield off Oklahoma’s bench for a quarter or two. Michael Brewer might have contributed but he’s thrown 11 picks against 10 TDs for Va. Tech, so we’re getting better production than that from Davis.

We’ll have to dance with Davis because he’s who we brung, at least until the high school phenom we signed gets here. Maybe a sober approach to defense will eventually rescue the season.

The Giants have given me two Super Bowls in the last few years, plus the Bill Parcells’ years, so they get a pass. The Giants are my longest tenured football fanaticism, dating back to 1963 and Y. A. Tittle. They benefitted from being from same city as The Yankees and playing at Yankee Stadium in my formative years. Now they benefit from having a Manning at Quarterback although an offensive line to protect him would be nice.

However, if they continue to trail the Darn Dallas Cowboys their pass may be revoked. I cheer hard for these four teams plus whoever is beating the Cowboys or Texas A&M.