Wireless Wilderness

StartFragment

I have an assignment for my Information System classes where instead of doing a final exam that consists of essay questions they unplug for 24 hours from technology and write a paper on the experience of going unplugged without drugs.

Of course the intent of the assignment is to point out technology is a drug in its own right, an insidious whisper in our ear, a blinking banner across our eyes signaled by the siren tone of your choice.

An old saying invites the physician to heal thyself. So what's a technologist supposed to do? A techie's not a doctor, but we could play one on the internet I suppose given the proper avatar. But that would assume connectivity. You know what happens when one assumes? It makes a basket case out of you and me.

I stand accused and guilty of internet addiction. An Alaskan cruise took me out of reasonably priced wifi range and dropped me squarely into the alternative final exam assignment of my class.

Turnabout is not fair play nor did I ace this particular test.

The ship left Seattle Saturday with Jan and I watching the Predators/Penguins Stanley Cup final back in Nashville. About two hours from port Verizon lost horsepower and the hockey game froze along with a little piece of my heart.

We then entered a colorless twilight zone existence where draconian wifi was 75 cents per minute or Canadian roaming charges could be turned on for a share of retirement funds. Otherwise, we were incommunicado from about 8 p.m. Saturday until we went back on the air Monday at noon as we pulled into Juneau, AK.

No fair teacher, that's way longer than the final exam alternative assignment! And that wasn't the last cone of silence we would enter.

We had about 11 hours of blessed cellular connectivity in Juneau to update Facebook with Alaska pictures and chat with grandchildren before going off grid again as we slept around midnight.

Maxwell Smart would have been envious as we entered NowhereManZone again around midnight Monday and wouldn't emerge again until 7 a.m. Wednesday.

There is a movement called JOMO, a clever internet era abbreviation for the "Joy of Missing Out". You're supposed to gather some semblance of peace and reconnectivity with your loved ones with the time freed up from devices. I had a great time with my wife exploring the boat seminar offerings, which will be the subject of another blog post. We saw some excellent shows, got creamed in trivia and tried to avoid a few of the possible calories which float on the air on cruises bound to stick to bellies, butts and thighs.

However, that first day we both periodically found ourselves staring quizzically at our phones wondering how the camera app became the only alternative. I found myself picking it up from time to time and then putting it back down when I remembered we couldn't get the scores. We were left to wonder who won the hockey game we were watching and how the Yankees had done Sunday.

We got the update when we hit Juneau the Preds had won the frozen game and also the second one Monday as we explored our first Alaskan destination. I found the Yankees had lost Sunday and were off Monday, so I didn't need to fret Tuesday at sea.

While in Juneau, which is Alaska's capital, we had taken a tour of the Mendenhall Glacier and hiked to Nugget Falls. Cordova, our guide, recommended we eat Halibut locally at Alaskan Fish and Chips and pretty much completed our souvenir shopping. Jan found a ring she sorely deserved that was a combination birthday/25th anniversary gift. Turned out even having connectivity hadn't slowed us down.

We were incommunicado at sea all Tuesday again, which we discovered was because the ship was going to explore Glacier Bay for about 10 hours. National Park Rangers climbed a rope ladder aboard around 7 a.m. The rangers gave us lots of fun facts about this amazing ecosystem. The rangers gave presentations on history of the national park while also pointing out bear, sea otters and mountain goats along the the way as we steamed through pristine wilderness viewing five glaciers. The highlight was a completely oral presentation from a young ranger who was a member of an ancient tribe. He pretty much transfixed us with his story of indigenous Alaskan's mythology woven into their way of life and he did it only with his voice. No slides.

In truth, I had known I was facing periods of no connectivity and looked forward to seeing how I stacked up against JOMO. This was the first vacation in 20 years I didn't take a laptop, neither work or personal. I had planned to use the downtime to write some posts for this long fallow blog. This backfired after writing the first one and trying to upload to Wix.com I discovered their editor didn't work with my iPad. So this and other posts will be uploaded after the fact when I get back to laptop civilization.

In trying to close this adventure off the grid, one should sum up what has been learned. You should learn something for being inconvenienced.

Maybe what I learned was I wasn't inconvenienced at all, not having a score at your fingertip is a blip as bothers go. The important thing is I got my nose out of a screen long enough to see a truly wonderful place, hear an inspiring storyteller and enjoy the feeling again of putting a ring on a finger just like I did 25 years ago.

My Joy was NOT missing out.