Fair Food

Today is the last day of the Wilson County Fair. You can usually set your calendar for the hottest week of the year being Fair Week. Attendance has been off substantially this year because of torrential rains from violent thunderstorms. But, even with the cooling off period due to the rain, Old Man Summer still has given us temperatures in the 100+ range this weekend by combining heat with Mississippi Delta level humidity.

But we’re not here to curse the fickleness of nature but rather to praise what gets my blue ribbon vote every year – “Fair Food”. You can let the kids ride all the stomach turning rides and the ladies can find lots of crafts for purchase consideration. The rabbits and chickens and horses and goats may make you say “oh my” but that’s not why old men are in attendance. Old men are there for the cholesterol.

Fair Food may be the best opportunity of the year to disobey your doctor and immerse yourself in food that is fundamentally bad for you. I’m not talking about just a Hardy’s Thickburger. That’s for amateurs in this league. Only a Fair Food cook could come up with Chocolate Covered Bacon. Or Fried Twinkies. Or deep fried Banana Pudding.

The best and most inventive concoction had to be the deep fried chocolate covered macaroni & cheese. Any parent who has a hard time getting their kids to eat anything besides Mac ‘n’ Cheese should never let a little one sample this invention. This combines all the best and worst of childhood nutrition.

But then, isn’t that the point? For one week a year we can try things we can’t get any other time. Fair midways used to cater to the rubes who came to town to be fleeced at games of chance or dubious attractions locked behind curtains. Now it’s the cooks who are taking advantage of our most base instincts. We are the rubes of Unhealthy Choices.

I wandered the crowded isles on my day at the fair. I thought about the catfish my wife decided on as I knew it was good. There was the Kielbasa and Italian Sausage with green peppers and onions. Pizza…, nah, can get that anytime. I remembered I had something great the year before, but being an Old Guy, I couldn’t remember what it was exactly. My wife reminded me it was a pork chop sandwich and suddenly my salivary glands remembered.

I started the search in Fiddlers Grove as I remembered being in that area when I found the delicacy. I also recalled the vendor had a red truck. I found “The Chop Shop” pretty close to the entrance of Fiddler’s Grove and verified they had the Pork Chop sandwich. I ordered one and took it back to where the family was gathered with their choices. We had fried fish represented, Italian Sausage with peppers/onions and a Blooming Onion. There was some cross pollination and exchange of culinary culture and everyone was satisfied. I liked mine so much I went back and got another one, reasoning that I only get to have this delicacy once a year.

Dessert for the family is always the same. We may try the stray funnel cakes or chocolate covered whatever, but the last thing we always do before heading home is get the traditional fair desert – Mule Ice Cream. It’s just a fitting end for a day of watching clog dancing and pig racing. Way out in the backside of Fiddlers Grove is Mule Ice Cream. This warrants some explaining. There is a mule mounted on a trailer with a medieval version of the treadmill. The mule is incented by something yummy to him and as he walks the treadmill powers a big ice cream churn. So, as the mule gets his exercise and loses weight, he makes something to help fairgoers add to already ample backsides. There is nothing like homemade ice cream with chocolate sauce added. Unless someone can figure out how to deep fry the ice cream and cover it with chocolate. Maybe wrap in bacon.

I can't wait until next year!